


But I Am Home

by dalex_allen



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alcoholism, All Human AU, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Mentions of underage drinking, alcoholic character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:16:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalex_allen/pseuds/dalex_allen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac is dragged along to a club and meets Stiles. Their relationship evolves beyond anything Isaac expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Am Home

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](http://lchababe.tumblr.com/post/53277703733/stiles-isaac-porn-week-for-mela). Title is from "Riches and Wonders" by the Mountain Goats.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Isaac!” Erica whined. “Please? I don’t want to go alone!”

“Take Derek, then.”

Erica pouted. “You know he hates clubs. _Hates_ them. And you don’t. Besides, he’s with his uncle until Monday.”

Isaac sighed, turning from his laptop. “The guys are all straight or taken, the music sucks, there’s too many sweaty, drunk people…not my scene, Erica.”

Erica groaned and sat next to him. “Here, I’ll make you a deal. If we go and you don’t like it, I’ll only listen to your music for a month. If you like it, I won’t say ‘I told you so.’ Sound good?”

Isaac thought about it. It was summer break, he hadn’t been out clubbing in years (not since right after high school graduation when they’d gotten kicked out for fake IDs), and there was always the chance that he’d meet a guy…

“Fine. But,” he continued when she squealed, “you have to promise to listen to what I want you to. And, on the off chance that I like it, and you say ‘I told you so’ even once, you still listen to what I want you to.”

“Deal,” she said, holding out her hand. Isaac rolled his eyes and shook it.

~~~

It turned out to be an okay club. The music still sucked, and there were plenty of drunk people grinding on each other, but it was much mellower than Isaac remembered.

And then he saw the guy.

He was a bit shorter than Isaac (not saying much, since Isaac was ridiculously tall), had short dark hair, and was sitting alone with a drink in his hand. Isaac licked his lips as he watched this guy, watched him take a sip of his drink through a straw and wondering what that mouth would feel like around his cock…

“Fuck it,” he mumbled, crossing the space until he was right in front of the guy. “I’m Isaac.”

“Stiles,” the guy said, nodding. He seemed fidgety, and Isaac wasn’t sure if that was the club or just him.

“That’s a weird name.”

“Nickname. My first name is weird. Is this your first time here? I don’t remember seeing you.”

Isaac’s heart jumped slightly. “Yeah, first time. My friend dragged me on the off chance that I’ll meet a guy.” That was Isaac’s sneaky way of asking if someone was gay, and it had worked for him time and time again.

“Same,” Stiles said, nodding. Isaac bit his lip to keep from grinning. “I’m with my friend who thinks this is some…some gay Mecca. It isn’t even a gay club. He’s out making a fool of himself, as usual. I’m designated driver.”

“And that?” Isaac motioned at the drink.

“Coke.”

Isaac glanced around, trying not to stare at Stiles. The boy’s _lips_ , holy shit, if Shakespeare were still alive there would be sonnets about them. His eyes were big and brown and intense, and his nose was a little round like his face and just made him adorable as well as sexy.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom,” Isaac said, leaning in to Stiles’ ear. “You should meet me there.” Pulling back, he winked before turning and heading to the men’s room. He pretended to wash his hands and check his reflection before he heard the door open and saw Stiles in the mirror.

“I don’t do this,” Stiles said. His face was slightly red and Isaac glanced down to see his tented pants. “I don’t, really, I’m not like this.”

“Shut up,” Isaac said, pulling him close and kissing him hard. He backed into a stall, closed and locked the door, and pressed Stiles against the wall. They weren’t so much kissing anymore as running their lips together and it was all teeth and hot breath and tongues. Considering the protests earlier, Stiles was surprisingly into it, his hands wandering and grasping and stroking in all the right places.

“Fuck,” Stiles moaned as Isaac’s hand dipped below his belt. “Dude…this is so not the place.”

Isaac stroked Stiles’ dick through his underwear and reveled in the moan that got him. “You’re right. I’m staying just a block away with some friends, and they’re all out right now.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Isaac took his hand out of Stiles’ pants reluctantly and they left together, barely making it to the elevator before kissing again, bodies grinding together. Isaac fumbled with his key and almost dropped it, and they tripped over his carpet before finally, _finally_ , making it to his bed.

“Shoes off,” Isaac said, kicking his off and throwing his jacket across the room. Stiles followed suit, then pulled Isaac down on top of him. His hands ran under Isaac’s shirt, pinching his nipples and lightly scratching his skin. “Dude, dude, I have to ask this. Are you okay bottoming?”

Stiles licked his lips, panting slightly. “Would you believe me if I said there’s nothing more in the world I want right now?”

Isaac grinned, leaning down to nip at Stiles’ throat before sliding down the bed and fumbling with his jeans, taking out his rock-hard cock and stroking it softly, just to tease. Then he ran his tongue around the head and swallowed Stiles’ cock, stroking the bits his mouth couldn’t reach.

“Fuck!” Stiles arched into his mouth, hands twisting into Isaac’s curls. Chuckling, Isaac looked up and saw that Stiles was staring at the ceiling, jaw clenched.

“Stiles,” Isaac said, pulling off his cock and stroking. “Look at me.”

Stiles groaned and made eye contact just as Isaac lowered his mouth back to his cock, slurping and sucking and flicking his tongue, and it wasn’t long before Stiles clenched his eyes shut, thrust into Isaac’s mouth, and came in long, hot spurts. He collapsed back on the bed, panting, as Isaac swallowed.

“Never gotten a blow job before,” Stiles said breathlessly.

“I can tell.”

“Oh, God, I came too fast, didn’t I?” Stiles covered his face and tried to turn away.

“Hey, no, dude, that was hot as fuck. Take off your clothes.”

When they were both naked, Isaac pushed Stiles on his back and straddled him. As much as he wanted to just fuck him raw, he wanted Stiles to enjoy this. Plus, while Derek and Erica were out, the neighbors weren’t, and hearing screaming might get them in trouble.

“Hips up,” he instructed, helping Stiles maneuver so he could finger him better. “I just want to make sure again that you’re okay with this. Bottoming for me.”

“Isaac, just fuck me, please.”

Isaac bit his lip, his cock throbbing. Okay, so hearing “just fuck me” was probably his biggest turn-on. He reached into his nightstand and pulled out the lube, gathering some on his finger and massaging Stiles’ entrance. Isaac had never been with a virgin (which he assumed Stiles was), which was surprising given how many hook-ups he’d taken part in. Pressing his finger inside, Isaac watched Stiles’ face for signs of discomfort.

“Dude, I’ve done this on my own,” Stiles assured him. “It’s okay.”

“How many have you done by yourself?”

“Three.”

Isaac nodded, pulling his finger out and squeezing some more lube on the rest of his fingers. He pressed three inside and met little resistance, even when he spread them apart.

“That okay?” he asked, pumping his hand in and out of Stiles’ ass.

“Fuck yeah, feels great. Please.”

Isaac smirked, wiggling his pinky finger inside and stretching some more. Then he pulled them out, reached for a condom, rolled it on, and squirted some lube on his cock.

“You ready?” he said, teasing Stiles’ hole.

“Dude!” Stiles said loudly, pulling Isaac down for a kiss. “If you don’t fuck me right now, I swear to God, I will murder you.”

Isaac laughed, pressing forward past the ring of muscle. Stiles made a little ‘ah!’ sound but didn’t look like he was in pain. So, leaning down for a deep kiss, Isaac thrust forward until he was completely inside, groaning at the sudden change in pressure as Stiles’ muscles clenched around him.

“A little warning would’ve been nice,” Stiles grumbled, clutching Isaac’s forearms. “Fuck, that was…a bit too much all at once.”

“If I’d warned you, you would’ve clenched up, and it would’ve hurt more. Do you want me to?”

Stiles bit his lip and breathed through his nose. “Give me a minute.”

Isaac waited, kissing and nibbling Stiles’ neck while stroking his hip, and when Stiles gave him the go-ahead he started thrusting into the scrawny body below him.

“Oh, God,” Stiles moaned, angling his hips up a bit. “Fuck yeah, Isaac, go faster.”

Isaac chuckled, burying his head in the crook of Stiles’ shoulder as he pumped his hips faster and harder. The bed started creaking (Isaac really needed a new bed) and the headboard was bumping the wall slightly, which only turned him on more. He loved the idea of being watched or heard, and he knew Derek and Erica had heard him at least once over the years. Neither of them brought it up, but he could see it in their eyes when he came out of the bedroom with a guy in the morning.

“Fuck, I want to be hard so bad,” Stiles moaned, reaching down to stroke himself. “Fuck, please, please, I just want to come.”

“Hey, hey, relax, okay?” Isaac said, pushing himself up to look at Stiles. “There’s still plenty of time for that later. I don’t ever have sex just once in a night.”

Stiles grinned and pulled Isaac down for a kiss, tongues clashing and exploring. Isaac pulled Stiles’ legs higher and fucked him harder, making the headboard bang against the wall, serving as an underlying beat to their moans and gasps and curses.

“Fuck, Stiles, fuck,” Isaac said as his balls drew up. “Fuck, FUCK!” He pulled out, yanked off the condom, and jerked himself until he was spilling on Stiles’ chest, the first shot nearly hitting his chin. He leaned down and lapped it all up, sucking on Stiles’ skin before collapsing next to him.

“Holy shit,” Stiles said, still absentmindedly stroking himself.

“That your first time?” Isaac said. Stiles nodded. “How was it?”

“Fucking amazing.”

Isaac laughed, leaning over to kiss him. “You hard yet?”

Stiles shook his head, hand stilling. “It usually takes me about an hour.”

“Good, me too.”

They were silent for a minute; Isaac’s mind was wandering to the club. Maybe there were more hot guys there, hot guys who were good in bed. But he’d had more fun fucking Stiles than he had in a long time, and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t getting any. Isaac got laid more than anyone in his group of friends. If he wanted to get all psychological about it, he’d say it was because of his abusive father and need for dominance or something, but he didn’t like to look at it like that because that line of thought always depressed him.

After an hour or so, he fucked Stiles again, and then they went to sleep.

~~~

The next morning, Stiles looked extremely flushed and dressed quickly.

“Dude, you okay?” Isaac asked, leisurely pulling on his boxers. He knew Erica wouldn’t mind seeing him in just boxers. She’d seen him naked before, on accident. (Hell, she’d walked in on him having sex once.)

“Yeah, just…should get back home.”

Isaac grabbed Stiles’ arm and stopped him from leaving. “Stiles, calm down, okay? None of my roommates will care.”

“Well, I do,” Stiles said, yanking his arm out of Isaac’s grip. “I…I don’t _do_ that, Isaac, I don’t just sleep with random guys I found at a bar. This isn’t _me_.”

“Stiles,” Isaac said, but couldn’t think of anything else. So maybe he’d taken advantage of a horny gay virgin in a bar, and maybe the whole night was a mistake. That thought depressed him; he never wanted to be a mistake to someone.

Stiles sighed. “I didn’t mean…just…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, is all. I don’t know what protocol is.”

Isaac shrugged. “I mean, I usually just let the guy go, maybe get his number for a lonely night. But you…I kind of want to keep you around.”

Stiles frowned. “Um. I don’t know how to react to that.”

Chuckling, Isaac stepped forward and kissed Stiles, rubbing the back of his neck. His one-night stands usually ended with an exchange of numbers and ‘goodbye,’ but holy crap had he had fun with Stiles. Backing up, they fell onto the bed, tugging at clothes and stroking at skin.

“Dude, dude,” Stiles said, panting slightly as Isaac pulled off his shirt. “I don’t…my family, they’ll be worried about me.”

“How old are you?” Isaac asked, settling between Stiles’ thighs and thrusting against him, their hard cocks rubbing together through the layers of fabric.

“ _Fuck_. I’m twenty-one.”

“I think you’re allowed a couple hours away from them.” He kept thrusting forward, sucking on Stiles’ jaw and neck.

“Oh, God, yes,” Stiles moaned, arching into Isaac and curling his fingers in his hair. “God, this feels so good.”

“I don’t know how you managed twenty-one years without someone just fucking _taking_ you, Stiles, you’re so fucking hot.”

“T-too awkward, I guess,” he chuckled, wrapping his legs around Isaac’s waist. “Too gangly.”

“Don’t listen to them,” Isaac mumbled, licking Stiles’ ear. “You’re fucking perfect.”

Stiles groaned loudly, his hips jerking wildly. “Fuck, I’m gonna come if you keep saying stuff like that.”

Isaac grinned and pulled back completely. “I don’t think so…I mean, twice in one night is good enough, don’t you think?”

Stiles’ mouth fell open, a choked-off groan leaving his throat. “You…you…fuck you!” he said playfully.

“If you want,” Isaac shrugged.

Stiles frowned, his face falling. “I don’t…I mean, it was just a…I was kidding, just kidding.”

“So was I, Stiles, calm down.” He kissed Stiles again, slipping a hand below his waistband and stroking him in the tight confines of his pants.

“Oh, fuck,” Stiles moaned, again arching into Isaac. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, I’m so close.”

But he was still wearing boxers and pants and Isaac didn’t really want him to do the walk of shame without underwear, so he pulled Stiles’ cock out and stroked him until he came all over his chest. Isaac lapped it up and kissed him.

“I really should go now,” Stiles said, but he didn’t make any move to get up until his phone rang. “Oh, shit. Hold on.” He picked it up. “Hello?...Oh, hey man….Yeah, no, I’m good, just staying somewhere else….So you got home okay?...Good, good….No problem….See you tonight, then….Bye.”

“Who was that?” Isaac asked, reaching for his jeans.

“Oh, just my friend, Scott.”

Isaac froze with one leg on the ground. “Scott McCall?”

Stiles frowned. “You know Scott?”

“ _You_ know Scott?”

“He’s my best friend, I’ve known him for, like, fifteen years,” Stiles said, starting to get dressed again.

“I met him through school this year.” Isaac started to panic a little. As many one-night stands as he had, he’d never slept with someone who had a mutual friend. Well, not for a one-night stand. He didn’t want Scott to think less of him or think that he and Stiles were dating…

“Well this is sufficiently awkward,” Stiles said as he was tying his shoes.

“Dude, I don’t…I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t, it’s fine.” Stiles sat on the bed and sighed. “I was at the club with him last night, he was just calling to make sure I was safe. We went to different schools because he wants to be a social worker and I want to be a cop. I just didn’t know you knew each other.”

“We had a psychology class together,” Isaac explained. “I, uh…kind of had a crush on him. For a bit. So yeah, I’d say it’s awkward.”

They were silent again, and Isaac could feel the tension. He couldn’t even look at Stiles. God, this was awful. How was he going to look Scott in the face after this? How was he going to explain it? He’d taken Stiles’ virginity in a one-night stand and he knew Scott wouldn’t like that.

“Are you gonna tell him?” Isaac said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. He really liked Stiles, a lot more than his other hook-ups, and didn’t want this to stop.

“Hell no. No, I think this can stay between us.”

Isaac bit his lip. “My roommates will know. Especially Erica, she’ll have noticed that I left the club and she’s…she’s not a loudmouth necessarily but she’ll tell Derek.”

Stiles sighed and nodded. “I should go, I have to shower and get ready for a party tonight.”

“Stiles, wait.” Isaac grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss, wrapping his arms around Stiles’ body. “I…I want to do this again. I don’t say that to a lot of guys, either.”

“You want to…I’m sorry, what?”

Isaac stepped back slightly. “You’re friends with Scott and I’m friends with Scott. Why don’t we be friends? And since you’re really fucking good in bed, we can be…friends with benefits.” Stiles frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Like, we can be friends but still fuck each other. And it doesn’t even have to be exclusive, so we can still see other people—”

“Sure, yeah, that sounds great,” Stiles said, smiling. “I just…what do we tell people?”

Isaac thought for a second. He’d been in a similar situation with a guy called Jackson, but that didn’t last long because Jackson was a very jealous guy. What they’d said then was that it was no-strings-attached, and everyone was cool with it. Then again, they went to a very liberal school.

“The truth,” Isaac said finally. “I mean, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, right? Friends with benefits. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to, okay? Like, I loved last night, but I’m not gonna be heartbroken if you say no.”

“I want to, really.” Stiles licked his lips, smirking. “I have a party tonight but I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Isaac smiled. “Yeah, sure. Let me put my number in your phone.”

~~~

When Erica came home later that day, she had this awful grin on her face that made Isaac want to smack her upside the head.

“If you don’t fucking cut that out, I’ll count it as ‘I told you so,’” he warned as they ate dinner.

“Aw, come on, Isaac!” she whined, pouting slightly. “It’s all in good fun.”

He rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone to check for a text message. He’d been texting Stiles all day, and even though Stiles was now at a party, he was still texting pretty regularly.

“So what’s his name?” Erica asked. Isaac looked up and noticed that she was staring at him with the same shit-eating grin.

“Stiles. And, uh…he’s friends with Scott.”

“Scott McCall?”

“Yeah. Weird coincidence, huh?”

Erica blushed slightly. “Even weirder when you consider I slept with Scott last night.”

Isaac dropped his fork; it fell to the ground with a clang. “ERICA! NO FAIR!”

“What? He’s straight, he wouldn’t have been into you anyway. Besides, considering you keep checking your phone, I think you’re more interested in his friend.”

Isaac rolled his eyes, checking his phone again out of habit. He didn’t want to ask this, he didn’t want to be _that guy_ , but shit he wanted to know. “How was he?”

Erica threw her head back in laughter. “Isaac, you’re such a fucking creep. It was good but I’ve had better. And, because I know you’re thinking it, he was about average size.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Well, Stiles was bigger. So. I win.”

“Did he fuck you?”

“No, hell no, you know I don’t do that.”

“Then I won, Lahey.” Erica stuck her tongue out at him. “Anyway, judging by the way you keep checking your phone, this thing with Stiles is more than a hook-up.”

“Yeah, we…I know it didn’t work before but we’re trying on the friends-with-benefits thing.”

Erica frowned, leaning forward. “Isaac…”

“I know, okay? I know it didn’t work. But Stiles wants this, he knows what it is.”

She sighed. “I can’t watch you get hurt like that again, Isaac.”

“I won’t.” He was already shutting down, crossing his arms. He hated talking about Jackson out loud, hated talking about how heartbroken he was and how much he still fucking missed him.

“Isaac, just…be careful, okay?”

“Always am. You buy me condoms.”

“Isaac.”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked sharply. “That I won’t get hurt? I can’t promise that. I like him, more than I’ve liked anyone in a while, and I’m gonna do what I want.”

“Derek won’t like this.”

“Derek can fuck off.”

“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

Isaac whipped around; Derek was in the threshold, eyebrows raised.

“Derek, what are you doing home?” Erica asked, rushing to clean up the dishes. Derek paid most of the rent, so Isaac and Erica took up the chores, and she hadn’t done the dishes for the weekend yet.

“My uncle was boring and I didn’t want to stay there. Isaac,” he continued, sitting at the table and taking one of Isaac’s pieces of cheese bread, “we’re just trying to protect you.”

“Derek…”

“I know, I know, you’re twenty-one and can do what you like and can make your own mistakes. I get that. But…dude, we love you and we want you to not be heartbroken.”

Isaac leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms tighter. Ever since Isaac’s dad died when he was sixteen, Derek’s been like a big brother to him. They’ve lived together for five years and if there was one person on earth that Isaac would save from a zombie apocalypse, it’s Derek. But he was really overprotective and it really got on Isaac’s nerves.

“Just let me…do this,” he said, not touching his food anymore. “If I’m gonna get hurt, I’m gonna get hurt.”

“Isaac, do I have to remind you what happened with Jackson?”

“Fuck you.” Isaac shoved his chair back and stormed to his room, slamming the door.

It was an incredibly stupid risk to be taking. He hadn’t been with anyone more than a couple times since Jackson. It had been three years but he still wasn’t entirely over it. He couldn’t forget the crushing sense of panic when Jackson said they needed to talk, or the emptiness in his chest that he filled with alcohol and booty calls, or the time when Derek found him blacked out in a shallow creek, completely naked. He was in the hospital for three days, and when he got out, Derek made him join AA. He was three years sober and never wanted to touch alcohol again, but he kept a little card in front of his driver’s license anyway to remind people to not give him any.

And of course Derek and Erica were worried. They’d had to watch Isaac spiral downwards, and watch him almost get kicked out of university. He knew they still checked him every morning, even if he was with a guy, to make sure he wasn’t drunk. And he had no idea how hard it was, taking care of someone when they don’t even want to be alive.

Someone knocked on his door. “Come in,” he said dully, sitting on his bed.

Derek came in and closed the door behind him. “I know I said I wouldn’t bring it up,” he said, pulling up Isaac’s chair and sitting near him. “And I’m sorry. But you know why I’m doing this.”

“You’re not my dad or something, Derek. I can take care of myself. Besides, it’s not even like I’m…” He sighed. “We’re just having fun, okay? Like, we had fun last night and want to keep having fun without the confines of a relationship. It’s just sex.”

“I know that’s what you think it is, Isaac, but that’s what you thought it was with Jackson too.”

“I’m older now, I know what I’m getting into.”

Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not gonna convince you, am I?”

“No.”

“Fine. Just…if you need anything, you know where to find me.” He left, and Isaac flopped back on his bed. Summer vacation wasn’t turning out like he wanted it.

~~~

Stiles called the next night after dinner.

“Hey,” Isaac said, leaving the living room for some privacy.

“Hey, I’m downstairs,” Stiles said; Isaac could hear the cars passing on the street. “Can I come up or did you want to go somewhere else?”

Isaac thought for a second. “Um…I’ll come down, I want to show you something.”

“Okay, see you in a bit.”

Isaac grabbed his shoes and headed for the door. “Going out with Stiles,” he said, checking to make sure he had his keys.

“Isaac,” Derek said, his tone very accusatory.

“Would you rather we have sex in my room?”

Erica laughed, waving him away. Isaac’s heart was pounding on the way downstairs, and his hands were shaking slightly. Right before he opened the outside door, he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. This was just an outing, not a date. Just showing Stiles Isaac’s favorite outdoor spot.

“Hey,” Stiles said, smiling from ear to ear. “Where are we going? Do we need a car? I brought my—”

“Shut up,” Isaac said, grinning before kissing Stiles. “Yes, we need a car. It’s not far from here.”

They drove for a few minutes to a park, where they got out and started walking down a path.

“I’ve lived in this town for my whole life,” Isaac said, watching the ground instead of Stiles because they were starting to go off the path. “And my dad…my dad used to hit me. So I’d leave and I’d come here.”

“Jesus, dude,” Stiles said, reaching out to grab his hand.

“Yeah. Since I was seven. So I’d come here.” Glancing around, Isaac pulled Stiles through some branches and they emerged near a creek. The same creek, in fact, that Isaac had blacked out in after Jackson.

“So what’s this?”

Isaac sat down on the ground, on top of a rock that was completely flat. He’d stumbled on this when he was seven, the first time he’d ever run away from home.

“It’s…this place is like a second home to me. I’d come here, rain or shine, when my dad got too much to handle, and I just…kept coming here. This was where I first got drunk, and first got high, and first masturbated. Hell, I lost my virginity here.”

Stiles sat next to him, looking around. “Here?”

Isaac laughed. “Yeah, I brought a blanket. It was really nice. The condom’s probably biodegraded by now. Anyway, I brought you here because this place is really special to me and…I don’t know. I wanted you to see it.”

Stiles grabbed his face and kissed him, leaning back and resting on the rock so Isaac was above him. They made out for a few minutes. Isaac didn’t want to have sex on this rock without a blanket or something; who knew what kinds of bugs were here? (Not that he didn’t want to have sex with Stiles, obviously, but there were better places. Like Stiles’ car.)

“Stiles,” Isaac moaned when Stiles grabbed his ass. “Fuck, dude, this isn’t the place for that. Not without a blanket.”

“Come on,” Stiles said, and it wasn’t a whine so much as just a statement. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to.” To emphasize his point, he rutted his hips upward, making Isaac groan.

Isaac looked around. In all his years hiding out here, he’d never known anyone else to visit. He knew they were alone, and he knew voices and moans wouldn’t travel to the main path because he couldn’t count how many guys he’d fucked here, even in daylight. But it would be so uncomfortable, especially for Stiles.

And then he saw the tree. The tree he’d been climbing for over a decade, the tree that gave him shelter if it was raining, the tree where he’d carved his initials eight years ago.

“Stand up,” he said, getting to his feet and offering a hand to Stiles. “Grab onto that tree.”

“What are you planning?” Stiles said, hands on the tree and feet shoulder-width apart.

Isaac chuckled in response and reached around to undo Stiles’ jeans. Pulling them down, he got to his knees and spread Stiles’ cheeks. The other man gasped as Isaac licked at his hole, then spread his legs a little farther. Isaac kept rimming him, not hiding the sloppy sounds that went straight to his dick.

“Fuck, dude, why does that feel so good?” Stiles moaned.

Isaac stood up, pulled a condom and small packet of lube from his pocket, and leaned in to kiss Stiles’ neck. “I don’t know. You ready?” Stiles nodded enthusiastically. Smirking, Isaac pushed his pants down just enough to get out his cock, slid on the condom, squirted some lube, and aligned himself with Stiles’ ass. Sliding in slowly, feeling the drag of skin against skin (almost), and the slight resistance of the muscles. He mouthed at Stiles’ neck as he pressed forward, forward, inch by inch filling the other man up.

“Don’t fucking tease me anymore, Isaac,” Stiles panted, knuckles white on the tree. “Just fuck me, please.”

“Patience, grasshopper.”

“Oh, dude, you are so _not_ making _Kung-Fu_ references when your dick is in my ass. Nope. Not happening. Fuck me or all you’ll be hearing is grasshoppers instead of my moaning.”

Isaac laughed, nuzzling into the crook between Stiles’ neck and shoulder. “I knew I liked you for a reason,” he mumbled as he thrust his hips faster, dug his nails into the pale skin of Stiles’ side.

As they moved together, Isaac sped up, his kisses turning into bites, his hips slamming into Stiles’ ass, creating a delicious slapping sound that almost drove Isaac over the edge.

“Are you close?” he mumbled, reaching around and stroking Stiles’ leaking cock.

“Fuck! Fuck, a lot closer now.”

Isaac tightened his grip and nibbled on the back of Stiles’ neck; Stiles clenched up, a choked groan leaving his mouth, and his cock pulsed in Isaac’s hand as he came, painting the tree. Isaac slammed into him four, five more times before grunting and filling the condom.

They stayed together for a moment, both panting, then Isaac pulled out and took off the condom. Stiles was silent as they dressed, but Isaac didn’t think much of it. Until Stiles opened his mouth.

“I told Scott.”

Isaac almost fell into the creek. “Are you serious?”

Stiles flushed and looked at the ground. “Yeah. He asked who I’d gone home with and once I said your name, he kind of guessed. I hope…that’s okay.”

“No, yeah, that’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it.” Isaac chuckled as he finished getting dressed. “I’ve never been with someone that has a mutual friend, it’s just…different.” He noticed Stiles sulking and pulled him into a kiss. “It’s fine,” Isaac reassured him, brushing his cheek with his thumb.

Stiles smiled, kissing him again. “Do you want to go back to my place? You could spend the night and we could have a beer or something.”

Isaac froze, face falling. Backing away, he hung his head. “I can’t,” he said, pulling out his wallet and showing Stiles the Alcoholics Anonymous card. “I’m three years sober.”

Stiles’ eyes widened as he stared at the card. “I…oh. Okay.”

Isaac sighed, putting his wallet back in his pants. “I get if that’s a deal-breaker, I get it’s scary to be with someone—”

“No, dude, really, it’s fine. My dad has a card like that too. I’m not gonna judge you, Isaac, really.” Stiles pulled him closer and kissed him. When he pulled back, he was smiling and let a hand linger on Isaac’s neck. “We don’t have to drink. I won’t even drink around you, if you want.”

Isaac smiled, his heart swelling. “I…thanks. You don’t have to…I mean, I picked you up at a bar, I’m okay with people drinking around me. Just don’t let me have any. Even if I ask.”

“Deal,” Stiles said, kissing him quickly. “This is way too personal and I understand if you don’t want to answer, but can I ask what made you drink?”

Isaac bit his lip. He really didn’t want to go into the whole thing with Jackson, not after only knowing Stiles a couple days. “I…no, not yet. I want to tell you, just not now.”

“That’s fine. Let’s go back to my place anyway. We can play a board game or something.”

~~~

Isaac stopped seeing other people after about a month. It wasn’t necessarily that he wanted to be exclusive; he just didn’t meet any guys worth picking up.

Derek noticed.

“Isaac,” he said, leaning against Isaac’s open door, a smirk on his face. “It’s been rather quiet around here. How come?”

Isaac frowned, looking up from his laptop. He took a swig from his Diet Coke. “I don’t know what you mean, Derek. I mean, it’s plenty loud when Stiles comes over.”

“Yeah, but there’s no one else.” Derek’s grin widened, somehow. “You haven’t brought anyone home, and you haven’t been to anyone’s house, except Stiles. For, like, a week. That’s weird for you, Zac.”

Isaac rolled his eyes at the nickname. His brother Camden used to call him Zac, and it was through Camden that Isaac met Derek in the first place. They’d been friends in high school, and it wasn’t until after Camden’s death (roadside bomb in Afghanistan) that Derek started showing concern for Isaac’s well-being.

“I just haven’t found any worthy guys,” he said, turning back to his computer.

“You haven’t been out in a while, dude. You can’t find worthy guys in this place. I mean, I love you, but not that way. I’m straight.”

“Oh shut up, Derek,” Isaac laughed. “Just…forget it, okay?”

“It’s getting serious with Stiles, isn’t it?”

Turning slowly, Isaac fixed Derek with a glare. “Stop. I know where this is going.”

“No, you don’t.” Derek moved closer and sat on the end of Isaac’s bed. He still had a slight smile on his face. “I know I told you to be careful, I know I told you to watch out, but this…you’re so happy, bud. I haven’t seen you this happy in years. And he is definitely not Jackson. He’s not…restricting who you can see or—”

“What are you saying?”

“I think you guys are good together. I give my blessing, as it were.”

Isaac frowned, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not…I don’t want that, Derek.”

“Yes you do.”

“But I’m still fucking terrified!” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “I’m scared, Derek, okay? I don’t want…I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want…I’m scared of the label, I’m scared of calling someone my boyfriend. Can’t you just accept that and let me be?”

Derek frowned, leaning forward with his hands on his knees. “Isaac, why don’t you ever tell me this stuff?”

“Because it’s none of your business, Derek, you don’t run my life.” God, that sounded so pitifully teenager-like. He wasn’t a teenager anymore. “Because I don’t want to. Simple as that. I just don’t really want to get into all this all the time. I’m scared because of Jackson and I’m not over it yet and Stiles is just a friend with benefits.”

After a moment, Derek nodded and left, closing Isaac’s door. He sighed, running his hands through his hair. Of course things were getting serious with Stiles. Of course he wanted to date him, call him his boyfriend and have no one else touch him. But he was still so scarred from Jackson.

Isaac’s phone buzzed on the desk next to him; it was Stiles.

“Hey,” he answered, hoping he sounded casual enough that the ‘friends’ part of ‘friends with benefits’ was still there.

“Hey, man,” Stiles said. It was a bit loud in the background, like he was in a public place. Mall? Coffee shop? “Can I see you today?”

“Yeah, where are you, though?”

“Oh, I’m at the mall with Scott. He just came of age so we went to the casino and the fucker had really great beginner’s luck.” Isaac could hear Scott protesting in the background. “Asshole won $200 in his first spin. So we’re going to Game Stop for a new Xbox. Did you want to come hang out with us?”

Isaac thought about it. Hanging out with other people would certainly cement the ‘friends’ thing, but with Scott? Someone that Isaac had a crush on but also knew what Isaac and Stiles were doing behind the scenes? He wasn’t sure if he was up for that.

“Nah, man, I’ve got stuff to do. But yeah, we can hang out tonight.”

“Cool,” Stiles said, sounding quite happy. “Your place or mine?”

If they were at Isaac’s, Derek would give him that goddamn knowing look. But if they were at Stiles’ apartment, they’d have to be a lot quieter because Scott was a light sleeper.

“You know what, we’re going out. To a club or something.” Isaac was already online searching for the best place. “Maybe I’ll fuck you in the bathroom, like when we met.”

“Isaac!” Stiles stage-whispered, and he was probably blushing which was adorable. “Fine, okay. I’ll swing by at nine, okay?”

“See you then.” Isaac hung up, grinning like a fucking idiot. Just hearing Stiles’ voice made him happy. God, he had it bad.

~~~

They went to a gay club, one of Isaac’s favorites from his drinking days. They had to hold hands because some of the guys here were very horny and very drunk, and holding hands was the one way in this club of showing “ownership.” Isaac used to buy a lot of hand sanitizer to come here because he’d always be holding someone’s hand.

“You used to like this place?” Stiles shouted in his ear over the music. They were at a small table away from all the drunk dancing people.

“I used to be a lot drunker.” Even if it was all the same people, Isaac wouldn’t have recognized them. He’d been too drunk then and was too sober now to make the connection.

“Wanna fuck in the bathroom?”

Isaac smiled, finishing off his Diet Coke. “Not the bathroom. I just…I wanted to tell you why I ended up here.”

Stiles put his drink down on the table, suddenly serious. “Are you sure? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel—”

“I’m comfortable with it, okay? Honestly. I just…needed to be immersed again.” He rested his elbows on the table, looking around. He felt oddly nostalgic, watching all these guys dancing and drinking and making out. He could swear there were at least two guys on the dance floor with dicks outside of clothing. Just like it used to be.

Stiles reached out and put a hand on his arm, which made Isaac stiffen slightly. But then he relaxed. Stiles wanted to comfort him because he knew this was a tough subject. They’d been sleeping together for five weeks, and the most Stiles knew about Isaac’s past was that there was a douchebag called Jackson who he wasn’t supposed to talk about.

“I told you about my dad, right?” Stiles nodded. Isaac took a deep breath. “He found out I was gay about two years after I realized it myself, when I was fifteen. God, the beating I got for that…so I didn’t dare do anything with any guy, not even go on dates until college, and then I met…Jackson. At orientation. He was your typical jock douchebag, top of the food chain in high school, but he liked _me_ and I couldn’t figure out why. Still don’t, honestly. Probably saw a damaged abuse victim and decided to…anyway.” He paused, staring out into the crowd. “I lost my virginity to him.”

“At that creek place?”

Isaac laughed and nodded. “Yeah. He was actually the only guy I ever bottomed for. I’ve been too…well anyway. We just…we decided to do friends with benefits, or he did, seeing as I was so inexperienced that I could hardly make my own decision about it. But he…he wanted every guy I would sleep with to be pre-approved by him. He didn’t have the same restriction. And he kept track of who my friends were, who I talked to, where I was…it was textbook abusive. Fucking textbook. But I was so young, so…in love. I couldn’t see it. I was used to it.”

He got up to refill his Diet Coke and stared longingly at the man at the bar who was having a Jack and Coke. That had been his favorite. Taking the non-alcoholic beverage, he returned to Stiles.

“After a couple months,” Isaac said, not making eye contact, “he…it just got worse. And then I met this guy, Ethan, and I liked him and wanted to sleep with him but Jackson didn’t approve. But I fucked him anyway, which I don’t regret by the way. Jackson found out and flipped. He said he was heartbroken, and threatened to hurt himself and even kill himself, and then he broke it off and hasn’t spoken to me since.”

Stiles got off his chair and moved around the table to hug Isaac then, which caught him by surprise. Feeling the scrawny arms (that were actually quite muscular) around his chest made him feel so…whole. Not something he’d ever expected to feel with Stiles.

“Thanks.” Isaac kissed him before Stiles went back to his seat. “After that, I just…he’d made sure he was my entire life, so without him I felt like I had nothing. I used my fake ID and I came to all sorts of bars and hooked up with so many guys and just…it was about three and a half months, and I don’t think I was sober for more than thirty-six hours straight. Hooked up with dozens of guys…I flunked an entire quarter at school. And then…” Isaac sipped his drink again, not wanting to say this next bit out loud but needing Stiles to know. “I don’t remember it. But Derek found me in that creek, face-down, completely naked. In early March. I’d blacked out, there was so much alcohol…and they found heroin in my system. We managed to negotiate rehab and a fine instead of jail time for underage drinking and possession. That’s the only time I’ve ever seen Derek cry.”

“Isaac?” Stiles said timidly, his eyes full of concern.

“What’s up?” Isaac replied, wiping his eyes slightly.

“Was it…please don’t take this the wrong way, but was it—”

“Yes. I mean, it wasn’t…a conscious suicide attempt. But yeah, it was. That probably explains the heroin.”

“I’m…I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Stiles, really, just…it was three years ago. But that’s why I don’t…that’s why I don’t drink and that’s why I don’t like real relationships. I figured you had a right to know.”

“Thanks. For telling me.”

They drank in silence, watching the drunk people. Isaac hadn’t said that story out loud in years, not since the counselor Derek had forced him to see. God, just thinking about Derek’s face when he was in the hospital was enough to keep Isaac from drinking. Isaac had watched Derek go through the loss of friends and family members, seen him weather an abusive relationship with a woman who tricked him into knocking her up, but the only time he’d seen real tears was when Isaac was in the hospital with an OD.

“Isaac?”

He jumped slightly, looking up. Stiles was smiling at him, not smiling like you would at a terminally ill person, but smiling like you would at your friend. He leaned over the table and kissed him, stroking his cheek. “What’s up?” he said when he pulled back.

“Oh, well…I was gonna ask if you wanted to skip out and fuck somewhere.”

A mischievous grin spread across Isaac’s face slowly. “Bathroom.”

~~~

Two weeks later, Isaac got a text from Stiles.

“ERICA!” Isaac called from his room, staring at the phone. There was a slight bang, footsteps, and then Erica was at his door, looking disheveled and worried.

“What’s up, babe?” she said.

“Can you interpret this text for me?”

“Is it in French?”

Isaac shook his head, handing her the phone. She read over it and looked back up at him, an exasperated look on her face.

“Isaac Lahey, you called me in here for _this_? Jesus, I thought you were hurt or something…” She sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, but what does it mean? What does ‘Met someone, see you tomorrow’ even _mean_?”

Erica rolled her eyes, giving the phone back. “That depends. Have you two gone exclusive yet?” Isaac shook his head. “Then it means he’s doing what you did. Chill out, it’s just a one-night stand. Or is he not allowed to do that?”

“Fuck you, Erica.” Isaac turned his back to her, hands fidgeting. How was he supposed to take this? They weren’t together. They weren’t boyfriends. They were just fucking around. Right? Just fucking around? So why did it bother him so much that Stiles was out with someone else? “I just…I don’t know. He seemed like he didn’t want to be with anyone else.”

“And he changed his mind. Chill out, okay? It’s just one night.” She left, muttering under her breath.

Isaac huffed, staring at the text for another couple of minutes before sighing and dialing one of the few numbers he knew by heart.

~~~

Ever since that first time with Ethan, the one that broke him and Jackson up, Isaac had kept Ethan’s number in the back of his mind and in his address book. (A physical address book, because phones were unreliable.) Ethan was one of the few guys that Isaac connected with on an emotional level, and even though they both didn’t want a relationship, they developed this booty-call system where, if one called, the other would drop everything (within reason). Isaac had only called him once before, but now he needed something to get his mind off Stiles.

After the (surprisingly quiet and vanilla) round of sex, Isaac lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, his heart heavy.

“What’s up?” Ethan asked, reaching for his boxers and pulling them on before laying down next to Isaac. “Why’d you call?”

He shrugged, glancing over at Ethan. “There’s a guy.”

“Yeah, I gathered.”

Isaac got up on one elbow. “You…saw me. After Jackson. So I think you’re one of the few people who can understand the gravity of this sentence without explanation: I want to be more than fuck buddies.”

Ethan sat up, a slight grin on his face. “Good for you, man! I’m glad you found someone! But…trouble in paradise, right? Or else you wouldn’t have called me.”

“We’re just friends with benefits right now and…not exclusive, not exactly, but we kind of were for a bit and now he’s out with some other guy. Or girl, I don’t know. He just said he ‘met someone’ and he’d see me tomorrow. I don’t know what to do, Eth.”

The other man nodded and reached out to grab Isaac’s hand comfortingly. “You care about him a lot more than you usually do with that kind of thing, don’t you?” Isaac nodded. “Then tell him. Just be honest. I mean, how is he supposed to know that you don’t want him seeing other people if you don’t tell him?”

“But I can’t tell him, he knows about Jackson, what if he thinks I’m just trying to control him?”

Ethan sighed and kissed him, pushing him on his back. “Don’t think too much. Just…do it. Tell him that you want to be more.”

Isaac sighed. It sounded so simple, but how did he have this conversation? How did he start it? “Hey, Stiles, I’d like to be your boyfriend”? Just the thought of the word ‘boyfriend’ made him shiver and clutch at Ethan.

“It’s just…easier, Eth. It’s easier if I pretend I don’t care.”

“Easier for him, maybe,” Ethan said, stroking Isaac’s cheek and kissing his nose. “But not for you. And I think you need to put yourself first right now.”

“I can’t,” Isaac said quietly, moving to straddle Ethan on the bed. “Well. I can. I’d just rather fuck you.”

Ethan grinned and pulled their faces together for a kiss, reaching around to grasp Isaac’s ass and pull him close.

~~~

Stiles came by the next day while Isaac was home alone. He was looking in the fridge for something to drink when the buzzer for the building went off.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Stiles,” came the crackly reply. Isaac sighed, pressing the button to unlock the doors. A couple minutes later, Stiles knocked on the front door.

“Hey,” Isaac said when he opened it, smiling tightly.

“Hey, you,” Stiles replied, grinning. He strode forward and kissed Isaac, kicking the door closed behind him. But Isaac pulled away. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He went back to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. “Want anything?”

Stiles frowned but shook his head. “I’m good. How was your night? Sorry to bail on you.”

“Good. Yours?”

“Very good.”

Isaac’s heart sank, and he grabbed one of the cans Erica had brought back from France instead of his Diet Coke. She’d gone for a study abroad program, since her minor was French, and brought back this. It was French beer. He’d had one last night when he called Ethan.

“What’s that?” Stiles asked, taking a couple steps closer.

Isaac kicked the fridge closed, opened the beer, and took a couple swigs. “Just this French soda. Erica brought it back. She went there spring quarter, brought it back. She doesn’t like us having it, though, so could you not tell her?”

Stiles grinned. “Always a rebel. I won’t tell her.”

Isaac smiled back at him. “So what did you do last night? Or should I ask who?”

“What?” Stiles said, frowning. “Who? What do you…oh. Oh God. Isaac, I didn’t mean that. Jesus. I met someone I used to go to school with, I hadn’t seen her in a long time. We didn’t have sex.”

“Stiles, you sent me a message saying ‘Met someone, see you tomorrow.’ What the hell was I supposed to think?”

Stiles nodded, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry, man, I could’ve sworn I sent another message clearing it up. She and I got to talking, I’m going to this party of hers tonight and I wanted to bring you.”

“Bring me?” Isaac chugged the rest of the beer, reveling in the taste. “Well that sounds awfully official.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Yeah, I’ll go. When is it?”

Stiles stared at Isaac for a second. He knew he was being suspicious. He was too distant and too secretive of the beer. He barely even let Stiles see the brand name in case he looked it up. Being drunk made him slightly paranoid.

“Tonight at nine. I’ll pick you up, okay? I should go. See you later.”

Isaac smiled at him, too worried that Stiles would taste the beer to kiss him. He brought the empty can back to his bedroom and put it in his trash can; he could always say Ethan had one last night. It wouldn’t be that unbelievable, especially since Erica didn’t really like Ethan.

About half an hour later, when he knew he’d still be home alone, Isaac went to Derek’s room. In his underwear drawer, inside a small box, was a credit card. It was for emergencies only. But Derek never used it. He never even touched it. So Isaac pocketed it, hiding it behind his driver’s license.

~~~

When Stiles picked him up that night, he was sober again, and feeling like shit. But he put on a smile for Stiles, because he loved seeing Stiles happy. They held hands going into the party, but Stiles went off to get something to drink, leaving Isaac alone by the front door. He moved forward, really uncomfortable. He hadn’t been to a party at someone’s house in a long time. He’d never been to one sober.

“Here you go,” Stiles said, handing him a Diet Coke and smiling. “Wanna meet Heather?”

Isaac nodded, following Stiles through the crowd. Heather was the girl Stiles had met up with last night. When they caught sight of her, she smiled and waved. She was pretty and blonde.

“Hey, Heather, this is Isaac,” Stiles said when they reached her. “Isaac, Heather.”

“Nice to meet you!” Heather said, hugging him even though they’d just met. Isaac knew girls like this. The hugging type. He didn’t like hugging.

“Yeah, same,” Isaac said, stepping back slightly when she pulled away.

“So how do you two know each other?” she said, a little smirk on her face that told him she knew about him and Stiles.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Isaac gave his soda to Stiles and walked away, not to the bathroom but to the kitchen. There was a bottle of vodka sitting out on the counter. Glancing around to make sure Stiles hadn’t followed him, he took a couple swigs, sighing in relief. He remembered why he loved drinking. God, the release and the high he got. Not actually high, of course. He didn’t do drugs. Except that one time.

Isaac went back to the living room, looking around for Stiles and Heather. They’d moved away from where they had been, and Isaac’s height helped him find them.

They were kissing.

Isaac felt like his stomach dropped, filled with lead. All he could see was Stiles kissing her, his hands over her body. Those hands were his, they were supposed to be on his body, not some…some girl Stiles hadn’t spoken to in years. He pushed through the crowd, not towards them but towards the front door. He ran out into the street, feeling something well up inside him, something…like a balloon, swelling and expanding. He kept running, even though he’d come here with Stiles and he was about half an hour’s drive from home, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything.

He made it to an alley behind a bar before he finally broke. He screamed, his voice breaking, tears falling down his cheeks. Fists slammed against the brick, feet kicked and knocked over the random boxes and cans. He collapsed to his knees, still slammed his hands against the wall, muttering, “Idiot, fucking idiot, you’re an idiot,” over and over again.

It took a couple minutes for him to calm down. Hell, he didn’t really calm down. He just stopped crying. He was still reeling, still hurting. His knuckles were bleeding and his face was splotchy.

Isaac stood up, brushing himself off, and went into the bar. He pulled out his driver’s license and Derek’s credit card. The Alcoholics Anonymous card fell out of his wallet, and he kicked it under a chair.

“Jack and Coke,” he said, showing the ID to the bartender.

His phone buzzed in his pocket; it was Stiles. He ignored the call.

“Girlfriend?” the bartender said, pointing to his phone as he handed the drink over.

“No. Backstabber. No big deal.” He downed the Jack and Coke in about two gulps.

The bartender laughed. “Sounds like no big deal. Another?”

“Screwdriver. Then a Kamikaze.”

“Damn, kid, what happened?”

Isaac sighed. “Make the booze, man.”

He got another call from Stiles. He ignored it. And he ignored the next three calls. Stiles finally got the hint and sent a text: “I don’t know where you are but this silence is scaring me. I’m calling Derek.” Isaac downed the shots and texted back: “Don’t call him. I just had to go.”

Stiles called again. This time, Isaac answered. Luckily, the bar wasn’t that loud.

“Where the fucking hell are you, Isaac?” Stiles said, fear and anger filling his voice.

“On my way home.”

“You’re scaring the shit out of me! Fuck, Isaac! Where are you?”

“Doesn’t matter. On my way home.”

“Are you at a bar?”

“What? No, Jesus, thanks for the vote of confidence, Stiles. It’s been three years, you think I’d break just by seeing you making out with some girl?”

Stiles was silent for a minute. “Shit. Isaac. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t call me again.” Isaac hung up angrily, slamming his phone on the counter. “Three Kamikazes.”

“You have a way home?”

“What are you, a cop? I’ll get a cab. Kamikazes.”

The bartender nodded and got the shots out for him. Isaac downed them quickly and stood up. After paying, he left. He stopped off at a liquor store, where he bought two bottles of vodka and a couple six-packs of beer, before calling a cab and heading home. It was still early enough that both Derek and Erica would be out at parties or whatever. He snuck the booze into his mini-fridge, hiding it behind the sodas and water bottles. They’d kill him for drinking. Hell, Derek would probably kick him out. He didn’t have anywhere else to go. He was an orphan, he didn’t know any of his extended family that well, and the one person he’d ever loved had abused him.

But that wasn’t true. Because he loved Stiles.

He paused, a bottle of vodka pressed to his lips. He loved Stiles. Really, honestly, truly. Isaac was in love with Stiles.

“Oh, Christ,” he mumbled, taking a few gulps of the vodka. It was worse than he thought.

~~~

Isaac woke up the next morning with a hangover, but it wasn’t the worst one he’d ever had, so he was able to hide it from Erica and Derek. They both kept glancing at him in a way that convinced him that Stiles had called them last night. He didn’t say anything, though. Whatever they thought, they could continue to think. After breakfast, he went back to his room and closed the door.

“Isaac?” Erica said, knocking on his door a few moments later.

“Come in,” he mumbled, sitting up on his bed.

She came and sat next to him, reaching out and holding his hand. “I’m sorry, buddy. I heard about what happened at the party.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it, Erica.” He pulled his hand back and folded his arms.

Erica sighed and looked around the room. Her eyes stopped on the garbage can. “Isaac Lahey, are those my French beer cans?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I had Ethan over the other day.”

Erica sighed and got up to pull them out of the garbage. “Asshole. You know I don’t like him.”

“Well, I do. He makes me feel good and he understands me.”

“So are you gonna be okay? Alone in here?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Erica, I can take care of myself. Thanks.”

“I love you, kid.”

“I know.”

When he was alone, Isaac pulled out a beer and downed it quickly. His phone buzzed but it was Stiles, so he let it ring. Stiles left a voicemail.

“Hey, Isaac. Just calling to check in. Look, I’m sorry about last night, okay, I really am. I don’t even know how it…she kissed me, I didn’t want to kiss her. Please talk to me, Isaac, I miss you. I hate that I hurt you. Call me, okay? Okay. Bye.”

Isaac deleted it as soon as it finished.

~~~

A few hours later, sufficiently drunk, Isaac was woken from a nap by knocking on his door. He sighed and got up to open it.

Stiles was on the other side.

“Nope,” Isaac said, slamming the door shut again.

“Come on, Isaac! We need to talk about this.”

“Go away, Stiles, Jesus, just go fuck that girl you like so much.”

“Isaac, dammit, please! She…she’s just a friend, Isaac, she’s nothing compared to you!”

Isaac wanted to cry. He wanted to go out and hug Stiles and make up and everything would be okay again. But Stiles kissed someone else, Stiles didn’t want Isaac as much as Isaac wanted Stiles, so he huffed and went to open the door. His heart broke at the sight of Stiles’ face, which was a bit red but lit up when he saw Isaac.

“Then get used to nothing,” he spat, pushing Stiles back into the wall and slamming the door again. He could hear Stiles and Derek talking, and then Stiles left and Derek was knocking on his door. He sighed and grabbed the open soda bottle on his bedside table for a drink.

“Isaac, what in the flying fuck was that?”

“I don’t want to talk, Derek.”

Derek opened the door anyway and frowned at him, arms folded. “What’s gotten into you? He doesn’t feel anything for her.”

“I don’t care that he kissed her, okay, we just…we were friends with benefits and now we’re not.”

The older man sighed. “I hate seeing you like this, Zac.”

“Then close the door.”

Derek frowned and stepped closer. “Are you drunk?”

“No, fuck you, I told you he didn’t mean that much.”

Derek held out his hand for the bottle of Diet Coke in Isaac’s hand. He sighed and let Derek taste it. It really was just Diet Coke. Satisfied, Derek left, smiling tightly at Isaac. Gullible sucker. Isaac reached over and pulled a beer out of his fridge, heading over to his desk and getting on his computer.

~~~

Stiles stopped calling after a week. He stopped coming by to visit a few days after that. It killed Isaac, honestly, but he just drowned that out with more booze. Derek’s credit card was spending a lot of money of late, and it didn’t occur to Isaac that it was a credit card and they sent statements at the end of the month.

Until the end of the month.

He was just enjoying some vodka in a water bottle (so he didn’t have to hide it when someone came in) when he heard the front door open. Derek was home from work. There were voices in the living room, and then utter silence.

“ISAAC LAHEY!”

Isaac jumped, his heart in his throat. Shit. He knew that voice. That was Derek’s angry voice. He hadn’t heard that in years. Footsteps thundered down the hall and Isaac’s door was thrown open to reveal his livid roommate.

“Hi,” he said, knowing he was beyond screwed.

“You spent _three hundred dollars_ on alcohol?” Derek held out the credit card bill. Isaac flushed and slouched in his chair. “Dammit, Isaac! You promised you’d stop!”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, that isn’t working this time. Don’t you see what you’re fucking _doing_ to yourself? Wait, is that…” He stepped forward and yanked the water bottle out of Isaac’s hand, taking a sip. “Fuck! Empty out your fridge. Right now.” Isaac didn’t move. “NOW!”

He sighed and moved to the fridge, putting the half-dozen bottles of booze on his bed. Derek pursed his lips, nostrils flaring. He picked all the bottles up; Isaac followed him into the kitchen, where he started pouring them down the sink.

“Derek!”

“No. You don’t say a word right now, okay? You don’t.” He kept emptying the bottles until the booze was gone. Isaac could feel Erica’s gaze on him but didn’t want to look at her. He would break down if he looked at her.

“Derek, I’m sorry.”

Derek turned to him, looking so angry that Isaac thought he was going to hit him. But he didn’t. “Pull out your phone and call Stiles.”

“No, I’m not talking to—”

“Call him or go pack your bags.”

Isaac stared, mouth open. The alcohol was wearing off from sheer adrenaline and he started to realize what Derek was saying. “You’re…kicking me out?”

“Not if you call that fucking kid you’re in love with.”

“I’m not—”

“Stop!” Derek shouted, taking a step closer. Isaac flinched, which made Derek sigh and look less angry. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to hit you. I want you to clear things up with Stiles because not talking to him is making you drink and you’re going to kill yourself if you keep this up.”

“I’m not! I don’t care about him. He was just a fuck buddy.”

Derek strode forward and grabbed Isaac by the shoulders. “Stop lying to yourself, Isaac. I am not letting you kill yourself in this house. So call him, or go pack.”

Isaac sighed and pulled out his phone. Stiles picked up on the first ring.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi. I need to talk to you.”

“You don’t say.”

“Stiles…” He looked at Derek for a second and let out a sob. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no, don’t cry, okay? It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Isaac went to the couch and sat down, tears falling down his cheeks. “I’ve been drinking.”

Stiles was silent for a minute. “Baby…”

“I’m going back to AA. I want…I want to see you.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“No, not right now. Just…I’m sorry, Stiles. I’m sorry. I was a dick to you.”

“It’s okay, Isaac, shh, stop apologizing. It’s okay.”

“I love you.”

Stiles laughed. “I love you, too, doofus. God, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. Get better and we’ll talk, okay?”

“Okay. Bye.” He hung up and looked up at Derek. “Okay. I’ll pay you back. I’ll go to AA.”

“And?”

He sighed. “And I’ll ask Stiles to be my boyfriend.”

“Good.” Derek ruffled his hair and knelt in front of him. “I love you, Isaac, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself. But you know what I have to do now, right?” Isaac nodded. “You don’t get this credit card. You don’t get to spend my money on this anymore. And you don’t get to stay in this apartment while you’re still drinking. Period. I catch you one more time and you’re gone. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna go through your room to see if there’s anything hidden, okay? I’m doing this for your safety. Not to be controlling.”

“I know. Go ahead.”

When Derek left, Erica stepped forward. Isaac could barely look at her because she was crying and he hated that he made her cry.

“Isaac,” she said, sitting next to him. “Please don’t do this again.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

He looked up at her and smiled. “I promise. It’ll hurt but I promise.” He kissed her on the cheek and let her hug him, even though he wasn’t a hugger, because he loved her more than anyone besides Derek and wanted her to feel better.

~~~

Isaac didn’t call Stiles again for a week. He spent much of his time either at AA meetings, at work, or at the gym. Working out helped him detox and not feel the withdrawal as much. He didn’t want to be feeling it at all when he next saw Stiles. He didn’t want Stiles to see him like this.

But after a week, he felt good enough to dial that fateful number. He told Stiles to come over (Erica and Derek were at work, although Derek kept calling to check in and make sure he was okay). Isaac let Stiles into the building and then he was knocking and Isaac took a deep breath before he opened the door.

“I love you,” he said without preamble. He’d been rehearsing this conversation for hours. “I love you and I don’t want you to be with anyone else but me.”

“Shut up,” Stiles said, striding forward and kissing him. God, kissing him felt so great, he felt wonderful and whole and _home_. “I love you too. I’m just glad you’re okay. And if you apologize one more time, I will smack you.”

Isaac chuckled and brought Stiles back to his bedroom. They sat on his bed and didn’t say much, just sat there enjoying the company. Isaac finally looked up at Stiles, kissing him quickly before speaking. “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Good, that’s what I want too. And if it’s all the same to you…I wouldn’t mind consummating that.”

Isaac laughed and kissed Stiles again, more passionate this time. “How about you top this time?”

Stiles’ eyes widened. “Are you serious? I thought you said you didn’t do that, not since…”

“I trust you and I want this, okay? You know where the condoms are.”

“Okay. Don’t have to tell me twice.” Stiles reached for the condoms in the bedside table and pushed Isaac on his back.

~~~

Stiles stayed for dinner that night, and Isaac asked him to move in. It took him less than a minute to say yes.

And whenever Erica wanted to take Isaac somewhere, he didn’t hesitate one bit.


End file.
